One aspect of getting to know someone well is getting to see their inauthenticity – getting to see the difference between how they appear to present themselves to others publically and how they actually appear to be with you ‘privately’- on the many occasions you have met them. This can occasionally express itself as a feeling of irritation towards them.

Its interesting to ask ourselves what is under this feeling of irritation. It may be that the irritation is caused by that person not appearing to fit with a certain belief we have, perhaps a belief that goes something like this: “You should be authentic at all times and in all places”.

But why should we impose this belief on our friend or lover? Isn’t up to them how they behave? Besides, if we did not have this belief – perhaps we wouldn’t get so irritated.